Just a Normal English Class
by rubyremembrance
Summary: From exploding tomatoes through to frying pan weapons to English class presentations, it's days like these that Matthew wonders if he'll survive his high school life. Rated T for safety, implications of violence and mature themes.


**A/N: This happened to be an English class assignment, and somehow, it turned into a Hetalia.. English class. Boy, I'm telling you that I swear I got some odd look for handing in a story called "Just a Normal English Class." So. Before we get on with it, I'd just like to say that I wrote this at 10:30 the night before it was due and wanting to take it in a completely different direction that it went. Which is why the whole thing about the birthdays kinda disappears about a quarter of the way in and doesn't come back until, like, the very end. You'll see.**

**Warning: Violence of a certain frying pan variety, implications of homosexuality (those who author alert'd me, get used to this), implications of Player!Prussia, France mildly perv-ing on Canada (Who?), exploding tomatoes and Shakespeare's _Twelfth Night._**

**Summary: From exploding tomatoes through frying pan weapons to English class presentations, it's days like these that Matthew wonders if he'll survive his high school life.**

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><p>A hand shot out from under the covers and slapped the button on the screaming alarm clock. The blond boy underneath the covers groaned and sat up, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He yawned and swung his legs off the side of the bed, checking the date as he stood up.<p>

The boy's violet-blue eyes lit up as he saw the date. It was June twenty-seventh, only three days before his birthday. He knew that it was likely that nobody would come to his party—they were usually busy preparing for the nightmare that would be Alfred on his birthday, only three days later. Still, it wouldn't hurt to invite them, like every year.

He pulled on a tan sweater and blue plaid pants before grabbing his glasses from the dresser beside his bed and heading into the hall. A loud boy barreled down the hall towards him, nearly running him over.

"Oh, sorry man! The hero didn't see you there!" He laughed obnoxiously while the other boy sighed.

"I know, Alfred, I know."

"Say, you look kind of familiar, have we met before?"

"It's me… Matthew. Your brother?" Alfred flushed in embarrassment—he never forgot somebody's name!

"Oh. Right. Sorry Mattie, I won't forget again!" He laughed again, somewhat sheepishly.

"It's okay, Al. Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure! Anything you need, just come to the hero!"

"What are you doing on your birthday?"

"My… Birthday? Oh yeah! It's my birthday in a week! You better be coming to my party, and get me something awesome!" He laughed and pushed past Matthew to get to his bedroom, presumably to get dressed for school. "Thanks for reminding me, Mmm… uhh… bro!"

Matthew sighed. "It's Matthew…" He slipped into the bathroom to brush his teeth before grabbing an apple from the kitchen and heading out the door. Alfred would be late. Again.

When he got on the bus, Matthew found a seat alone, but it wasn't too long before a French boy with long blond hair sat down beside him.

"'Allo, Mathieu, mon cherie," The other winked at him. "I 'ope you slept well, hm?"

"Hi Francis." Matthew greeted him before a few minutes of an uncomfortable silence, which consisted of Francis admiring Matthew. "C-Could I ask you a question?"

"Oui, ma belle?"

"What do you do on your birthday?"

"Well, premierement, I—" He was interrupted by a blond boy with eyebrows as thick as his British accent.

"You really don't want to know. Trust me." His face was painted with red and the brunette  
>beside him—who had not been there before—turned around with a grin on his face.<p>

"Antonio, when did you get here?

"What Arthur said; Don't ask." He snickered, his signature "Fusosososo".

"He totally has—" A loud clang, and the albino Prussian was on the floor of the bus, with a furious Hungarian woman standing over him, holding a slightly dented frying pan.

"Honestly Gilbert, there's no need to spread that kind of stuff around." Elizabeta huffed and sat down, still glaring at the Prussian.

"Why not? 'E asked, did 'e not?" He smirked at Elizabeta, but she hadn't caught it, as she had turned around.

"I'm beginning to wish that I hadn't, to be honest."

"Hey, wasn't there somebody else sitting with us?" Antonio asked, his Spanish accent coming out.

"Yeah, where did Alfred go, anyways?" Arthur stood up and scanned the bus, looking for a head of messy blond hair.

"Non, it was not Alfred who was sitting with us."

"Sure it was, who else might it have been?" Arthur paused, and his expression hardened. "Come to think of it, it might've been Peter."

"It might've been, si, but why would Peter be on a high school bus? He's in middle school."

"Mein gott, it wasn't Peter or Alfred, it's Matthew." Gilbert sat up, rubbing the bump on his head and wincing.

"Who?" Arthur looked thoroughly confused at the name. Matthew sighed—he was used to it.

"Alfred's brother…" Matthew said in a soft voice, but he might as well have been talking to a brick wall. As everybody ignored him, Matthew resolved to sit in silence.

He was incredibly glad when the bus arrived at school, since he had been hearing things that made him think, "Well, I could've gone my whole life without knowing that." In particular from Francis and Arthur, the latter of whom was burying his face in his hands, presumably to hide the flush from others.

Matthew slipped through the doors just before they closed, trailing behind Gilbert, who had his arm slung around Roderich, an Austrian that did not seem happy about it. As he walked towards the building, he looked around the courtyard and found that he was right. Alfred still wasn't here.

The boy walked past his locker to his homeroom, where he found that only Alfred, Antonio and one of the Italian brothers, Lovino, were missing. He sat down at his desk, beside Annelise, the Seychellois girl, though it seemed she didn't notice. He took out the book that he had taken out of the library and just as he opened it, Alfred came stumbling into the room. He was red-faced and out of breath and attracted a lot of attention from the class.

"Hey guys, what's up?" He waved to the class and strolled to his seat, earning a few laughs. As he sat down, the bell rang and Mr. Colbert walked into the room. He opened his mouth to talk when a furious voice rang through the hallway.

"…Such an idiot. You and your stupid tomatoes! Tomato bastard!" Lovino stormed into the room, followed by Antonio. Both of them were covered in tomato juice, and while Antonio looked amused, Lovino looked like he was going to smack Antonio through several time zones.

"Lo siento, Lovino, I didn't think they would explode! Lovino, I'm sorry!" Antonio pleaded. Lovino slammed his tomato-covered books on his desk.

"I'm going to the washroom." He shot a glare at Antonio, but otherwise ignored him.

"Lovino!" Antonio followed him out of the room, only for the whole class to hear a loud slap. "Ow, Lovino, was that necessary?"

"Get away from me, ba—Don't touch that!" After the long string of Italian curses faded, Mr. Colbert looked at the students.

"Well. I think some people need some relationship counseling." While the whole class was laughing, there were a few distinctive laughs in the class, like Francis' "Onhonhon" and Gilbert's "Kesesesese". Mr. Colbert waited until the class died down before smiling and giving them their instructions. "Everybody, take out your copies of Twelfth Night and read act four, scene three in your groups. You have until nine forty-five to memorize the lines as best you can and present the scene to the class."

"I told you Francis, I know everything about Shakespeare! I should be Sebastian!"

"Oui, you may know ze most, 'owever, you would be better suited to be Olivia. After all, you are ze most feminine in zis group, non?" Arthur stared at Francis like he was a talking frog.

"The most feminine? How am I the most feminine? You're the one with the long hair and roses! Not to mention that we have an actual girl in our group! Sorry about this, Annelise." The pigtailed girl nodded, and continued drawing a fish.

"Mais oui, but eet is too late, I 'ave already learned ze lines for Sebastian. You will make me so 'appy, mon fiancee!" This earned a glare from Arthur.

"Wanker." He huffed, sat down and crossed his arms angrily.

"Ohmygawd, Liet, you should, like, be Sebastian! I'll totally be, like, Olivia and then we'll get married!" A boy—who was wearing the girls' uniform—squealed from across the room. He flicked his blond hair out of his face and grinned.

"F-Feliks, we're not actually getting married, it's just the characters... And I told you to call me Toris, remember?"

"Oi, Feliks, you're real enthusiastic about this thing, aren't you? Since Toris isn't, how 'bout I take his place? Kesesesese!" The albino balanced his chair onto the two back legs and snickered.

"Ugh, Gilbert, not in, like, a million years. Go bug Liza, or something. Maybe a frying pan to the head'll, like, put you straight." He raised a hand in a "talk-to-the-hand" gesture and turned towards the brunette that was now attempting to keep Feliks from texting his excitement to Elizabeta, who wasn't in the same class.

"I like that idea, Gilbert. I could take Toris as my partner, da?" The Russian smiled, seemingly harmless.

"Ivan, Ivan! Why don't you be my partner, brother? Don't you like me, Ivan?" A girl with long sandy hair hugged the Russian from behind, and he shivered.

"Ah... Oh, hello Natalia. I haven't been avoiding you, sestra. If you'll excuse me, I will be right back, da?" He fast walked out of the room, followed closely by Natalia.

Lovino finally stormed back into the room and took his place in the desk next to Matthew, with his books. His skin was now devoid of any tomato juice, but the same couldn't be said for his clothes. The curl that came off his head wasn't exactly a curl anymore, as it had apparently been played with, which Lovino didn't seem happy about. Antonio wandered in a few minutes later, holding an ice pack to his eye, otherwise it seemed like he was in the same condition as Lovino. He came to sit with Matthew and Lovino, grinning, even under his ice pack. Lovino glared at him, and neither of them really seemed to notice Matthew was there. Matthew felt like he was intruding on some sort of silent conversation between them, so he went back to watching people in his class.

"Feliciano, focus on the play, please." The German, Ludwig, was having trouble keeping the other Italian brother under control, and he seemed to keep going on about how much he liked pasta. The Japanese boy with them wasn't helping much, either. "Kiku, can you influence Feli in any way?"

"I sharr consider it." Was the reply, which didn't please the German in any way.

"Aiyaa, Kiku, do a better job at being a group mate, aru." Kiku's adopted brother, Yao, reprimanded. Yao was the older of the two, and Chinese, unlike Kiku.

At nine forty-five, Mr. Colbert stood up from his desk and called for the class' attention. "Okay, time to present! First group is..." He pointed to a name on the attendance and frowned. "Is there even a Matthew Williams in this class?"

"You didn't put me into a group..." Matthew was surprised that his name was even on the attendance list this year.

"I guess there isn't." He crossed out the name on the attendance. "Okay, next group is Antonio, Lovino and Sadiq." A man wearing a mask like in Phantom of the Opera stood up and looked straight at the other two. They walked up the the front of the class and Lovino seemed to position himself behind Antonio out of instinct. Sadiq leant in and whispered something in Antonio's ear, which caused him to blanche, and step in front of Lovino more than he already was.

"Are you alocado? Lovino is not your property!"

"I know. But he will be." The Turkish boy smiled, and Antonio seemed to shield Lovino more.

"You're a creep. I don't want you anywhere near Lovino." He balled his fists, and Mr. Colbert stepped in.

"Whoa, whoa, take it easy. I don't want any fights in here. Not unless it's in the script and there is no fight in this script. Sit down, I want to talk to you two after class. Arthur, your group up next."

"No. I refuse to present until Francis admits that I am not feminine." Arthur sat in his chair like a brick, not moving for anything.

"Hey, what's wrong with, like, being feminine?" Feliks stood up in his skirt and raised an eyebrow. Without waiting for an answer, he turned to the teacher. "My group will go now, since we're, like, totes ready anyways." Mr. Colbert nodded and they walked to the front.

Their presentation fell apart quickly. Not only because Feliks kept throwing in "like"s and "totally"s, but because Ivan walked in halfway through it and made Toris so uncomfortable that he forgot his lines and Gilbert forgot that he was supposed to be marrying Feliks and Toris together because he was glaring at Ivan.

Like Arthur, Francis and Annelise's group, Ludwig, Feliciano and Kiku didn't end up presenting either. Not because they refused to go, but because Feliciano just didn't understand that they were supposed to be presenting. Yao, Ivan and Natalia couldn't go—Yao had "mysteriously disappeared".

"Alright. I think it's safe to say that we're not going to be doing something like this again. Talk amongst yourselves for the last part of class." Mr. Colbert rubbed his head and sat at his desk. Antonio and Sadiq were having a glaring contest from opposite ends of the room, while Lovino was trying to pretend that he wasn't scared of Sadiq. Matthew decided that he looked like he could use some comforting, so he pulled his desk closer to Lovino's and patted his back, though he was sure it wouldn't make much of a difference.

"You're... Matthew, right?" He nodded, surprised Lovino remembered who he was. "Your birthday's in three days, right?" Matthew nodded again.

"Y-yeah it is, how'd you remember?" Lovino shrugged.

"I don't know, I just did. Problem?"

"N-no! No problem, I was just wondering." Lovino nodded.

"Having a party?"

"Well, I was planning on it, but nobody ever comes. Except for Alfred, but that's 'cause he lives in the same house. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, why not."

"What was with the tomatoes?"

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><p><strong>To this day, I don't know what happened to Yao. Poor China..<strong>

**Hope you enjoyed!  
><strong>


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